


King of Head, 1978

by MoanDiary



Series: Moan Your Way Through Fuckruary [14]
Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Autofellatio, F/M, Fuckruary 2020 (Lucifer TV), Humor, Prompt: Autofellatio
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-21
Updated: 2020-02-21
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:27:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22826356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoanDiary/pseuds/MoanDiary
Summary: “But what were we talking about? Ah, yes, applying the ol’ spit-and-polish to one’s own knob.”
Relationships: Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar
Series: Moan Your Way Through Fuckruary [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1626784
Comments: 16
Kudos: 121





	King of Head, 1978

**Author's Note:**

  * For [matchstick_dolly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/matchstick_dolly/gifts).



“You’re shitting me.”

“I most certainly am not.”

“You’re fucking with me!”

“I wish! Then we wouldn’t be having this tedious argument. Have you ever known me to lie, Detective?”

“No, it’s just...I thought it was, like, anatomically impossible unless you had your bottom ribs removed.”

“Oh no, not at all. It’s really more a matter of neck and cock length, and as you know I am endowed with rather long specimens of both. Long neck, long cock, flexibility...and persistence, of course.”

“When you say ‘persistence,’ we’re talking…?”

“I spent untold millennia in Hell. Lots of downtime downstairs in between trips topside. Sometimes not even the Devil’s clever right hand was enough. And you know how skilled I am with _it._ ”

“Yes, I definitely do.”

“Hmm...yes.”

“ _Ohhhh..._ ”

“But what were we talking about? Ah, yes, applying the ol’ spit-and-polish to one’s own knob.”

“Come _on_ , Lucifer.”

“That pouty expression doesn’t work on me anymore! Don't distract me! I want to see if I’ve still got the hang of it.”

“Oh my... _oh my G—_ “

“‘Ah’ amo’er wor’, ‘Eh’eh’ih!”

“Sorry, just...wow.”

“Ah! There, see? Gets the job blown, at least.”

“Does it actually feel good given the amount of...bending?”

“Well the pleasure is perhaps a bit harder-won than that of regulation fellatio, as it were, but what I lose in maneuverability I make up for in talent and enthusiasm, I assure you. I didn’t earn the title ‘King of Head’ in delightful competition at an underground San Francisco sex club in 1978 for nothing.”

“I bet that title is in the running for your favorite.”

“You have to admit that ‘King of Head and Hell’ has a ring to it. I still have the little trophy around here somewhere...”

“Is it in the shape of a—“

“A penis, yes. I think it’s just a dildo painted gold, but it was a touching sentiment and a beautiful awards ceremony. I may have teared up a little.”

“Do you think you’re better than me?”

“Well...I’d hate to lie just to protect your fragile ego.”

“ _My_ fra—ugh. No, I mean do you think you could blow yourself faster than I could blow you?”

“I smell a wager, Detective.”

“Although the fact that you’re the...fellate-ee gives you an unfair advantage...”

“How about this, I’d set the time to beat and you get three chances over the next week to try to get under it?”

“And you don’t jerk off at all beforehand.”

“Not at _all?_ Detective, how am I to be expected to wake up properly without my morning bishop-bashing?”

“Okay, once in the shower in the morning, but that’s it.”

“And what does the winner of this wager get?”

“A favor to be named later.”

“Ooh, now you’re talking my language, Detective.”

“Who’s in charge of timing?”

“Well, you certainly can’t be trusted!”

“Neither can you!”

“...”

“...”

“I’ll call Maze.”


End file.
